I've been single for eight years. During that time, as I moved into retirement and moved toward old age, I've been pretty proud of the fact that I mow the lawn, shovel snow, plant and harvest a garden, haul my trash to the curb each week and deal with the various home repairs that have been required (with the help of appropriate repair people!)
Generally I've even thought of myself as a role model for the younger women who live on my street, all of whom are married and whose husbands take care of all the above things that I do myself. I even imagine that they talk about how young I am for my age, and how I do way more than they do, and wonder if they'll be able to do these things when they're my age.
RIIIIGHT! Today as I was mowing the lawn in a light rain, because if I didn't do it today I was afraid another week would go by with the house looking more and more run-down, I suddenly had an epiphany. Maybe instead of being a role model for the women on my street, I'm actually a cautionary tale. Maybe they see me doing all these things and think to themselves: No way am I ever getting a divorce. Look at all the drudge work she has to do. Look at how she has to do everything! God forbid - Maybe they even feel sorry for me!!
HUH! I guess that will teach me to be smug. The truth is: Probably no one on my street gives a second thought to what I do or don't do. And that's o.k.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So many thoughts, so little time
Honestly, if I hear John Boehner's sanctimonious voice one more time, pontificating about making sure that "No taxpayer money will EVER, EVER go to paying for abortions," I think I will scream out loud. The Hyde amendment already makes it impossible for federal funds to go toward abortions, so what else do they want? They want to make it impossible for women to claim the cost of an abortion as an income tax deduction under medical expenses.
What am I missing here? Terminating a pregnancy is a legal, health care procedure in this country. Another Republican proclaimed that no more taxes would pay to kill little American babies. When will the women in this country rise up? I keep wondering. The men who dominate the Congress, would like to send us all back to the kitchen where we could spend the day on our hands and knees scrubbing and the night on our back procreating their children.
If I thought I had the option to withhold my tax dollars from the immoral and unjustified wars that are taking thousands of civilian lives in Afghanistan and Iraq and have taken thousands of American lives then I might feel differently. What obnoxious hypocrisy these people are perpetrating on the rest of us.
In the mean time, here in my lovely home state, the Speaker of the House has proposed legislation that will seriously punish any state employee guilty of theft. I forget all the details of this bill, and as you might imagine, I'm not in favor of theft. My question is the need for this bill. How many state employees are stealing amounts of goods or cash in excess of $100.00, the limit in this new legislation? I think it's part of the strategy to paint public employees as generally lazy, freeloaders on the state's nickel. No statistics are forthcoming as to how many of these good-for-nothings have had to be prosecuted for theft.
As of today we will need to show a government approved I.D. in order to vote. That's because . . . voter fraud is rampant in the state? And the Republicans claim to want smaller government, and more "liberty for all." Huh? Liberty for exactly whom? And in this post I am barely scratching the surface of what is making my blood boil!!!
What am I missing here? Terminating a pregnancy is a legal, health care procedure in this country. Another Republican proclaimed that no more taxes would pay to kill little American babies. When will the women in this country rise up? I keep wondering. The men who dominate the Congress, would like to send us all back to the kitchen where we could spend the day on our hands and knees scrubbing and the night on our back procreating their children.
If I thought I had the option to withhold my tax dollars from the immoral and unjustified wars that are taking thousands of civilian lives in Afghanistan and Iraq and have taken thousands of American lives then I might feel differently. What obnoxious hypocrisy these people are perpetrating on the rest of us.
In the mean time, here in my lovely home state, the Speaker of the House has proposed legislation that will seriously punish any state employee guilty of theft. I forget all the details of this bill, and as you might imagine, I'm not in favor of theft. My question is the need for this bill. How many state employees are stealing amounts of goods or cash in excess of $100.00, the limit in this new legislation? I think it's part of the strategy to paint public employees as generally lazy, freeloaders on the state's nickel. No statistics are forthcoming as to how many of these good-for-nothings have had to be prosecuted for theft.
As of today we will need to show a government approved I.D. in order to vote. That's because . . . voter fraud is rampant in the state? And the Republicans claim to want smaller government, and more "liberty for all." Huh? Liberty for exactly whom? And in this post I am barely scratching the surface of what is making my blood boil!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What is a Democrat to do?
It seems to me on many levels that the world as we know it is spinning out of control. In NH, our Republican-dominated legislature has voted to allow guns in the State House, has put forward bills that will take health education, foreign language and technology education out of the definition of an "adequate" education, has voted to take away state funding from public broadcasting, has voted to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, and put forward legislation today to repeal gay marriage. I completely disagree with all of this, and have contacted my local State Senator, but she is in a minority, and I don't have any confidence that these bills will be voted down.
Governor Lynch has put forward a budget which will take lots of money away from most all human services in this state. He also favors a constitutional amendment which will attempt to reduce state funding for education, even though he veils what it will actually do by saying that it will "allow the state to target aid" where it is needed. He spoke in glowing terms about de-institutionalizing people and returning them to their home communities. We saw this happen when they closed the state school back in the 1980s. Communities were ill-equipped to deal with the severely mentally ill folks then, and that hasn't changed. We are turning back the clock at least 25 years in many respects, mostly on the backs of the poor, the mentally ill, and women.
In the meantime, President Obama has presented a budget which will slash services to those who need them most. Aid to those who need heat will be slashed by 50%. He says that that aid was increased a few years ago when energy costs spiked. But now, prices are down. What planet is he living on? Has he seen prices at the gas pumps? Heating oil is heading to ever higher prices ($3.09 per gallon for the 147 gallons I received today) and for those who are unemployed, under-employed or just plain poor, the inability to pay for just about everything is becoming more acute.
Just what is his strategy as he tries to out-conservative the conservatives? How can he talk about cutting community block grants, "though it pains him to do it"? Why doesn't he act like a progressive for a change? I'm sure it's all political. The Republicans are already saying "He hasn't gone far enough." It's a huge cat and mouse game where he will make proposals that horrify his liberal base, only to have the Republicans try to then slash and burn even more, thus making his proposals look moderate. It all makes me sick. Let's seem some large cuts in the Pentagon's budget; let's see our troops come home; let's close some of our bases abroad. Let's adopt some of the measures suggested by the Deficit Commission and which might require all of us to sacrifice somewhat, not just the poor, the ill and the elderly.
Yesterday I called my new Republican Representative in Congress to implore him to vote against taking away funding for Planned Parenthood. I spoke to a nice young woman who dutifully took my message and even asked if I had anything else I was concerned about. I said "Yes, as a matter of fact. I would like to see him take a more moderate stance on budgetary matters, and not try to balance the budget on the backs of the poor, women, and the most vulnerable people in our society. And please, tell him not to pander to the Tea Party."
What can we do to try to rein in this slippery slide back to the 1950s? I'm feeling pretty helpless, and not a little bit hopeless at this point. We supposedly have a democracy ad given how frustrated I'm feeling, I wonder what it must be like to live in an authoritarian regime in the Middle East. At this point, I'm not sure there's a huge difference between them and us. It may be time for us to take to the streets. . . again.
Governor Lynch has put forward a budget which will take lots of money away from most all human services in this state. He also favors a constitutional amendment which will attempt to reduce state funding for education, even though he veils what it will actually do by saying that it will "allow the state to target aid" where it is needed. He spoke in glowing terms about de-institutionalizing people and returning them to their home communities. We saw this happen when they closed the state school back in the 1980s. Communities were ill-equipped to deal with the severely mentally ill folks then, and that hasn't changed. We are turning back the clock at least 25 years in many respects, mostly on the backs of the poor, the mentally ill, and women.
In the meantime, President Obama has presented a budget which will slash services to those who need them most. Aid to those who need heat will be slashed by 50%. He says that that aid was increased a few years ago when energy costs spiked. But now, prices are down. What planet is he living on? Has he seen prices at the gas pumps? Heating oil is heading to ever higher prices ($3.09 per gallon for the 147 gallons I received today) and for those who are unemployed, under-employed or just plain poor, the inability to pay for just about everything is becoming more acute.
Just what is his strategy as he tries to out-conservative the conservatives? How can he talk about cutting community block grants, "though it pains him to do it"? Why doesn't he act like a progressive for a change? I'm sure it's all political. The Republicans are already saying "He hasn't gone far enough." It's a huge cat and mouse game where he will make proposals that horrify his liberal base, only to have the Republicans try to then slash and burn even more, thus making his proposals look moderate. It all makes me sick. Let's seem some large cuts in the Pentagon's budget; let's see our troops come home; let's close some of our bases abroad. Let's adopt some of the measures suggested by the Deficit Commission and which might require all of us to sacrifice somewhat, not just the poor, the ill and the elderly.
Yesterday I called my new Republican Representative in Congress to implore him to vote against taking away funding for Planned Parenthood. I spoke to a nice young woman who dutifully took my message and even asked if I had anything else I was concerned about. I said "Yes, as a matter of fact. I would like to see him take a more moderate stance on budgetary matters, and not try to balance the budget on the backs of the poor, women, and the most vulnerable people in our society. And please, tell him not to pander to the Tea Party."
What can we do to try to rein in this slippery slide back to the 1950s? I'm feeling pretty helpless, and not a little bit hopeless at this point. We supposedly have a democracy ad given how frustrated I'm feeling, I wonder what it must be like to live in an authoritarian regime in the Middle East. At this point, I'm not sure there's a huge difference between them and us. It may be time for us to take to the streets. . . again.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Queen for a Day
When I was a a kid, I used to love to watch the t.v. show Queen for a Day. I remember turning on the t.v. with its yellow-green screen (supposed to be better for our eyes) and then watching raptly as several housewives were asked to "tell their story" and I believe they mentioned some things that might make their lives easier. This show was the 50s version of reality tv. It was probably the start of my bleeding heart liberalism.
Looking back, I'm surprised I was allowed to watch this show (or any daytime t.v.), but in those early days of t.v., when we only got one channel, I still spent most of my afternoons outside trying to keep up with my brothers or the boy next door. I do remember being horrified by the women's stories of overwork and underappreciation, usually involving many children, not enough money and some presence of a terrible illness, etc. It was a soap opera of a sort, and I had always loved listening to those on the radio. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show was sponsored by "Joy" and "Tide," which would have featured ads with women cheerfully going about scrubbing the dishes, the floors and the family wash, dressed to the nines in a crisp white apron over a "housedress."
The point of the show was to identify the woman with the worst story. This was measured by audience clapping the loudest on the applause-o-meter. The woman who won, would usually weep and blubber as various prizes were revealed from behind closed curtains. As I recall, they won new refrigerators, or washing machines, vacuum cleaners or floor polishers. Maybe they won a trip somewhere, I'm not too sure. I always felt so happy for the winner, but wondered how the others, whose stories struck me as equally terrible, managed to go back to their terrible lives. I think I really would have liked to see my mom on the show, but I knew she couldn't possibly match stories with these women.
All of this came back to me yesterday when I went to Langdon Place to visit my mom. Beside her chair was a headband-like item covered in silver, and with a cardboard crownlike part with silver sparkling tinsel fringing the words "Happy New Year." I picked it up and asked mom if she had gone to the New Year's celebration. She said no, but took the headband from me and said "I like this," and put it on sort of like an Indian headband. I put it up on the top of her head and then offered the mirror so she could see herself.
"Oh," she said, "I like this. I want to wear it."
"Okay," I said, smiling at her enthusiasm. I got her into her wheelchair and we went down the hallway, with everyone we met smiling at my mom and wishing her a Happy New Year. Within minutes she had forgotten that she had the headband on, and would reach up to see what unfamiliar thing was on her head. Each time she would exclaim over it and put it back on. She was in her element.
Down in the special family dining room, we came upon coffee hour, and the women assembled all complimented my mom on her crown. She loved the attention, and wasn't the least bit self-conscious about wearing her new accessory. When we left, one of the women said "Good-bye to the Queen." Mom just giggled and smiled and waved to everyone as we left the room.
She wore the crown all the time we played cards and all the way back up to the 3rd floor. I felt in a small way, she had had her moment as Queen for a Day. As she progressively loses her ability to remember, to converse, to do much of anything for herself, I see her as very like her great grandaughter, 14 month old Ella. And as I ponder this, I think that perhaps Ella gets her cheery, sweet, charming nature from her great grandmother, who always has a smile and a giggle for all who cross her path.
Looking back, I'm surprised I was allowed to watch this show (or any daytime t.v.), but in those early days of t.v., when we only got one channel, I still spent most of my afternoons outside trying to keep up with my brothers or the boy next door. I do remember being horrified by the women's stories of overwork and underappreciation, usually involving many children, not enough money and some presence of a terrible illness, etc. It was a soap opera of a sort, and I had always loved listening to those on the radio. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show was sponsored by "Joy" and "Tide," which would have featured ads with women cheerfully going about scrubbing the dishes, the floors and the family wash, dressed to the nines in a crisp white apron over a "housedress."
The point of the show was to identify the woman with the worst story. This was measured by audience clapping the loudest on the applause-o-meter. The woman who won, would usually weep and blubber as various prizes were revealed from behind closed curtains. As I recall, they won new refrigerators, or washing machines, vacuum cleaners or floor polishers. Maybe they won a trip somewhere, I'm not too sure. I always felt so happy for the winner, but wondered how the others, whose stories struck me as equally terrible, managed to go back to their terrible lives. I think I really would have liked to see my mom on the show, but I knew she couldn't possibly match stories with these women.
All of this came back to me yesterday when I went to Langdon Place to visit my mom. Beside her chair was a headband-like item covered in silver, and with a cardboard crownlike part with silver sparkling tinsel fringing the words "Happy New Year." I picked it up and asked mom if she had gone to the New Year's celebration. She said no, but took the headband from me and said "I like this," and put it on sort of like an Indian headband. I put it up on the top of her head and then offered the mirror so she could see herself.
"Oh," she said, "I like this. I want to wear it."
"Okay," I said, smiling at her enthusiasm. I got her into her wheelchair and we went down the hallway, with everyone we met smiling at my mom and wishing her a Happy New Year. Within minutes she had forgotten that she had the headband on, and would reach up to see what unfamiliar thing was on her head. Each time she would exclaim over it and put it back on. She was in her element.
Down in the special family dining room, we came upon coffee hour, and the women assembled all complimented my mom on her crown. She loved the attention, and wasn't the least bit self-conscious about wearing her new accessory. When we left, one of the women said "Good-bye to the Queen." Mom just giggled and smiled and waved to everyone as we left the room.
She wore the crown all the time we played cards and all the way back up to the 3rd floor. I felt in a small way, she had had her moment as Queen for a Day. As she progressively loses her ability to remember, to converse, to do much of anything for herself, I see her as very like her great grandaughter, 14 month old Ella. And as I ponder this, I think that perhaps Ella gets her cheery, sweet, charming nature from her great grandmother, who always has a smile and a giggle for all who cross her path.
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