I decided to return to my blog today after a long absence. It seems fitting, since I began this blog in the year I retired from teaching, and this year marks the first year of actual retirement from paid work, a transition which hasn't always been easy for me and I don't mean that in the financial sense, rather in the emotional or overthinking sense, whichever way you look at it. Perhaps my return to the blog marks my apparent coming to terms with the fact that I have all this TIME on my hands and I'm beginning to be okay with that. And, of course, it's the political season again, and there's much to comment on. Not that I'm going to go there today, though.
Some of my ponderings today have to do with why I've undergone this transition to feeling good about my life without paid work. A lot of it has to do with actually embracing the idea that I've had a lot of projects I've wanted to work on in two realms, writing/thinking and organization/sorting/disposal of a ton of family "stuff" which has come to roost at my house. I thank my son for reminding me of that, at a point where I had concluded that I needed to give myself an "assignment" otherwise I was in danger of frittering away the rest of my life. So......I decided to begin with a focus on my oldest brother, Rob's, letters with an eye toward writing about his life. He died in 1988, and in 1996 I actually conceived of a book based on his life, and took some preliminary steps to begin that, but then life and work got in the way.
Since I had loved working on my great grandmother's and great great grandmother's letters which were published by U.of Iowa in 1996, I knew I would enjoy such a project again, and it would enable me to write, think and start to sort family memorabilia, all at the same time. I now have a thick, 3-ring binder sitting beside my laptop, containing only the letters from his first year at Dartmouth, open to the next letter to read and write notes about. I'm only up to Oct. 31st, 1957 and I have already identified several recurring themes and raised several questions.
I've quickly realized, that one of the aspects of pursuing this project is that I will learn a lot about others in my family and have an opportunity to revisit my own life as I think about his. He was 8 years older than I, and so when he went off to college, I was only 10, almost 11 years old. I didn't know him very well, then, and I surely didn't spend much time thinking about what he was experiencing in college. From this vantage point, and now having been through the college experience and a lot more life experience since, I am able to read his letters within the historical and cultural context of the time period, and with much more knowledge about him as I knew him better later in his life.
Reading through these letters makes me miss him in a way that I haven't so much in recent years. There are so many questions I would like to ask him, and so much that is going on today that I would like to talk about with him about. I think this is a common lament of people who write about family members who have died. Why didn't I ask such and such when I could have? What was that story that X used to tell, but I didn't write down? In most ways, however, his letters will answer many of those questions for me.
And that brings me to the final point/question I have raised so many times as I have contemplated the boxes of letters, scrapbooks, photo albums and file folders I have inherited over the years: Why did my family become such savers of letters, in particular? That question is especially focused on the Redington (paternal) side of my family. My dad saved all of our letters home from college and wherever we may have been in the years after. In my brother, Rob's case, he also had a whole file of what he identified as "1957 Summer Prelims Before Leaving for Hanover" which includes lots of interesting documents for the researcher like me. Though mom was the apparently sentimental one of my parents, what does it say about dad that he kept all this stuff? And what does it say for all of us now that we are in the ephemeral email era? Conducting research into a person's life will be much more difficult, that I can say for sure. I'd like to think that we might pay more attention to our family members and our familial relationships in the present moment, and like Harriet the Spy, take notes.....or possibly create electronic blogs. . .
Monday, September 10, 2012
Monday, July 25, 2011
Reality sets in
I've been single for eight years. During that time, as I moved into retirement and moved toward old age, I've been pretty proud of the fact that I mow the lawn, shovel snow, plant and harvest a garden, haul my trash to the curb each week and deal with the various home repairs that have been required (with the help of appropriate repair people!)
Generally I've even thought of myself as a role model for the younger women who live on my street, all of whom are married and whose husbands take care of all the above things that I do myself. I even imagine that they talk about how young I am for my age, and how I do way more than they do, and wonder if they'll be able to do these things when they're my age.
RIIIIGHT! Today as I was mowing the lawn in a light rain, because if I didn't do it today I was afraid another week would go by with the house looking more and more run-down, I suddenly had an epiphany. Maybe instead of being a role model for the women on my street, I'm actually a cautionary tale. Maybe they see me doing all these things and think to themselves: No way am I ever getting a divorce. Look at all the drudge work she has to do. Look at how she has to do everything! God forbid - Maybe they even feel sorry for me!!
HUH! I guess that will teach me to be smug. The truth is: Probably no one on my street gives a second thought to what I do or don't do. And that's o.k.
Generally I've even thought of myself as a role model for the younger women who live on my street, all of whom are married and whose husbands take care of all the above things that I do myself. I even imagine that they talk about how young I am for my age, and how I do way more than they do, and wonder if they'll be able to do these things when they're my age.
RIIIIGHT! Today as I was mowing the lawn in a light rain, because if I didn't do it today I was afraid another week would go by with the house looking more and more run-down, I suddenly had an epiphany. Maybe instead of being a role model for the women on my street, I'm actually a cautionary tale. Maybe they see me doing all these things and think to themselves: No way am I ever getting a divorce. Look at all the drudge work she has to do. Look at how she has to do everything! God forbid - Maybe they even feel sorry for me!!
HUH! I guess that will teach me to be smug. The truth is: Probably no one on my street gives a second thought to what I do or don't do. And that's o.k.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So many thoughts, so little time
Honestly, if I hear John Boehner's sanctimonious voice one more time, pontificating about making sure that "No taxpayer money will EVER, EVER go to paying for abortions," I think I will scream out loud. The Hyde amendment already makes it impossible for federal funds to go toward abortions, so what else do they want? They want to make it impossible for women to claim the cost of an abortion as an income tax deduction under medical expenses.
What am I missing here? Terminating a pregnancy is a legal, health care procedure in this country. Another Republican proclaimed that no more taxes would pay to kill little American babies. When will the women in this country rise up? I keep wondering. The men who dominate the Congress, would like to send us all back to the kitchen where we could spend the day on our hands and knees scrubbing and the night on our back procreating their children.
If I thought I had the option to withhold my tax dollars from the immoral and unjustified wars that are taking thousands of civilian lives in Afghanistan and Iraq and have taken thousands of American lives then I might feel differently. What obnoxious hypocrisy these people are perpetrating on the rest of us.
In the mean time, here in my lovely home state, the Speaker of the House has proposed legislation that will seriously punish any state employee guilty of theft. I forget all the details of this bill, and as you might imagine, I'm not in favor of theft. My question is the need for this bill. How many state employees are stealing amounts of goods or cash in excess of $100.00, the limit in this new legislation? I think it's part of the strategy to paint public employees as generally lazy, freeloaders on the state's nickel. No statistics are forthcoming as to how many of these good-for-nothings have had to be prosecuted for theft.
As of today we will need to show a government approved I.D. in order to vote. That's because . . . voter fraud is rampant in the state? And the Republicans claim to want smaller government, and more "liberty for all." Huh? Liberty for exactly whom? And in this post I am barely scratching the surface of what is making my blood boil!!!
What am I missing here? Terminating a pregnancy is a legal, health care procedure in this country. Another Republican proclaimed that no more taxes would pay to kill little American babies. When will the women in this country rise up? I keep wondering. The men who dominate the Congress, would like to send us all back to the kitchen where we could spend the day on our hands and knees scrubbing and the night on our back procreating their children.
If I thought I had the option to withhold my tax dollars from the immoral and unjustified wars that are taking thousands of civilian lives in Afghanistan and Iraq and have taken thousands of American lives then I might feel differently. What obnoxious hypocrisy these people are perpetrating on the rest of us.
In the mean time, here in my lovely home state, the Speaker of the House has proposed legislation that will seriously punish any state employee guilty of theft. I forget all the details of this bill, and as you might imagine, I'm not in favor of theft. My question is the need for this bill. How many state employees are stealing amounts of goods or cash in excess of $100.00, the limit in this new legislation? I think it's part of the strategy to paint public employees as generally lazy, freeloaders on the state's nickel. No statistics are forthcoming as to how many of these good-for-nothings have had to be prosecuted for theft.
As of today we will need to show a government approved I.D. in order to vote. That's because . . . voter fraud is rampant in the state? And the Republicans claim to want smaller government, and more "liberty for all." Huh? Liberty for exactly whom? And in this post I am barely scratching the surface of what is making my blood boil!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What is a Democrat to do?
It seems to me on many levels that the world as we know it is spinning out of control. In NH, our Republican-dominated legislature has voted to allow guns in the State House, has put forward bills that will take health education, foreign language and technology education out of the definition of an "adequate" education, has voted to take away state funding from public broadcasting, has voted to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, and put forward legislation today to repeal gay marriage. I completely disagree with all of this, and have contacted my local State Senator, but she is in a minority, and I don't have any confidence that these bills will be voted down.
Governor Lynch has put forward a budget which will take lots of money away from most all human services in this state. He also favors a constitutional amendment which will attempt to reduce state funding for education, even though he veils what it will actually do by saying that it will "allow the state to target aid" where it is needed. He spoke in glowing terms about de-institutionalizing people and returning them to their home communities. We saw this happen when they closed the state school back in the 1980s. Communities were ill-equipped to deal with the severely mentally ill folks then, and that hasn't changed. We are turning back the clock at least 25 years in many respects, mostly on the backs of the poor, the mentally ill, and women.
In the meantime, President Obama has presented a budget which will slash services to those who need them most. Aid to those who need heat will be slashed by 50%. He says that that aid was increased a few years ago when energy costs spiked. But now, prices are down. What planet is he living on? Has he seen prices at the gas pumps? Heating oil is heading to ever higher prices ($3.09 per gallon for the 147 gallons I received today) and for those who are unemployed, under-employed or just plain poor, the inability to pay for just about everything is becoming more acute.
Just what is his strategy as he tries to out-conservative the conservatives? How can he talk about cutting community block grants, "though it pains him to do it"? Why doesn't he act like a progressive for a change? I'm sure it's all political. The Republicans are already saying "He hasn't gone far enough." It's a huge cat and mouse game where he will make proposals that horrify his liberal base, only to have the Republicans try to then slash and burn even more, thus making his proposals look moderate. It all makes me sick. Let's seem some large cuts in the Pentagon's budget; let's see our troops come home; let's close some of our bases abroad. Let's adopt some of the measures suggested by the Deficit Commission and which might require all of us to sacrifice somewhat, not just the poor, the ill and the elderly.
Yesterday I called my new Republican Representative in Congress to implore him to vote against taking away funding for Planned Parenthood. I spoke to a nice young woman who dutifully took my message and even asked if I had anything else I was concerned about. I said "Yes, as a matter of fact. I would like to see him take a more moderate stance on budgetary matters, and not try to balance the budget on the backs of the poor, women, and the most vulnerable people in our society. And please, tell him not to pander to the Tea Party."
What can we do to try to rein in this slippery slide back to the 1950s? I'm feeling pretty helpless, and not a little bit hopeless at this point. We supposedly have a democracy ad given how frustrated I'm feeling, I wonder what it must be like to live in an authoritarian regime in the Middle East. At this point, I'm not sure there's a huge difference between them and us. It may be time for us to take to the streets. . . again.
Governor Lynch has put forward a budget which will take lots of money away from most all human services in this state. He also favors a constitutional amendment which will attempt to reduce state funding for education, even though he veils what it will actually do by saying that it will "allow the state to target aid" where it is needed. He spoke in glowing terms about de-institutionalizing people and returning them to their home communities. We saw this happen when they closed the state school back in the 1980s. Communities were ill-equipped to deal with the severely mentally ill folks then, and that hasn't changed. We are turning back the clock at least 25 years in many respects, mostly on the backs of the poor, the mentally ill, and women.
In the meantime, President Obama has presented a budget which will slash services to those who need them most. Aid to those who need heat will be slashed by 50%. He says that that aid was increased a few years ago when energy costs spiked. But now, prices are down. What planet is he living on? Has he seen prices at the gas pumps? Heating oil is heading to ever higher prices ($3.09 per gallon for the 147 gallons I received today) and for those who are unemployed, under-employed or just plain poor, the inability to pay for just about everything is becoming more acute.
Just what is his strategy as he tries to out-conservative the conservatives? How can he talk about cutting community block grants, "though it pains him to do it"? Why doesn't he act like a progressive for a change? I'm sure it's all political. The Republicans are already saying "He hasn't gone far enough." It's a huge cat and mouse game where he will make proposals that horrify his liberal base, only to have the Republicans try to then slash and burn even more, thus making his proposals look moderate. It all makes me sick. Let's seem some large cuts in the Pentagon's budget; let's see our troops come home; let's close some of our bases abroad. Let's adopt some of the measures suggested by the Deficit Commission and which might require all of us to sacrifice somewhat, not just the poor, the ill and the elderly.
Yesterday I called my new Republican Representative in Congress to implore him to vote against taking away funding for Planned Parenthood. I spoke to a nice young woman who dutifully took my message and even asked if I had anything else I was concerned about. I said "Yes, as a matter of fact. I would like to see him take a more moderate stance on budgetary matters, and not try to balance the budget on the backs of the poor, women, and the most vulnerable people in our society. And please, tell him not to pander to the Tea Party."
What can we do to try to rein in this slippery slide back to the 1950s? I'm feeling pretty helpless, and not a little bit hopeless at this point. We supposedly have a democracy ad given how frustrated I'm feeling, I wonder what it must be like to live in an authoritarian regime in the Middle East. At this point, I'm not sure there's a huge difference between them and us. It may be time for us to take to the streets. . . again.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Queen for a Day
When I was a a kid, I used to love to watch the t.v. show Queen for a Day. I remember turning on the t.v. with its yellow-green screen (supposed to be better for our eyes) and then watching raptly as several housewives were asked to "tell their story" and I believe they mentioned some things that might make their lives easier. This show was the 50s version of reality tv. It was probably the start of my bleeding heart liberalism.
Looking back, I'm surprised I was allowed to watch this show (or any daytime t.v.), but in those early days of t.v., when we only got one channel, I still spent most of my afternoons outside trying to keep up with my brothers or the boy next door. I do remember being horrified by the women's stories of overwork and underappreciation, usually involving many children, not enough money and some presence of a terrible illness, etc. It was a soap opera of a sort, and I had always loved listening to those on the radio. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show was sponsored by "Joy" and "Tide," which would have featured ads with women cheerfully going about scrubbing the dishes, the floors and the family wash, dressed to the nines in a crisp white apron over a "housedress."
The point of the show was to identify the woman with the worst story. This was measured by audience clapping the loudest on the applause-o-meter. The woman who won, would usually weep and blubber as various prizes were revealed from behind closed curtains. As I recall, they won new refrigerators, or washing machines, vacuum cleaners or floor polishers. Maybe they won a trip somewhere, I'm not too sure. I always felt so happy for the winner, but wondered how the others, whose stories struck me as equally terrible, managed to go back to their terrible lives. I think I really would have liked to see my mom on the show, but I knew she couldn't possibly match stories with these women.
All of this came back to me yesterday when I went to Langdon Place to visit my mom. Beside her chair was a headband-like item covered in silver, and with a cardboard crownlike part with silver sparkling tinsel fringing the words "Happy New Year." I picked it up and asked mom if she had gone to the New Year's celebration. She said no, but took the headband from me and said "I like this," and put it on sort of like an Indian headband. I put it up on the top of her head and then offered the mirror so she could see herself.
"Oh," she said, "I like this. I want to wear it."
"Okay," I said, smiling at her enthusiasm. I got her into her wheelchair and we went down the hallway, with everyone we met smiling at my mom and wishing her a Happy New Year. Within minutes she had forgotten that she had the headband on, and would reach up to see what unfamiliar thing was on her head. Each time she would exclaim over it and put it back on. She was in her element.
Down in the special family dining room, we came upon coffee hour, and the women assembled all complimented my mom on her crown. She loved the attention, and wasn't the least bit self-conscious about wearing her new accessory. When we left, one of the women said "Good-bye to the Queen." Mom just giggled and smiled and waved to everyone as we left the room.
She wore the crown all the time we played cards and all the way back up to the 3rd floor. I felt in a small way, she had had her moment as Queen for a Day. As she progressively loses her ability to remember, to converse, to do much of anything for herself, I see her as very like her great grandaughter, 14 month old Ella. And as I ponder this, I think that perhaps Ella gets her cheery, sweet, charming nature from her great grandmother, who always has a smile and a giggle for all who cross her path.
Looking back, I'm surprised I was allowed to watch this show (or any daytime t.v.), but in those early days of t.v., when we only got one channel, I still spent most of my afternoons outside trying to keep up with my brothers or the boy next door. I do remember being horrified by the women's stories of overwork and underappreciation, usually involving many children, not enough money and some presence of a terrible illness, etc. It was a soap opera of a sort, and I had always loved listening to those on the radio. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show was sponsored by "Joy" and "Tide," which would have featured ads with women cheerfully going about scrubbing the dishes, the floors and the family wash, dressed to the nines in a crisp white apron over a "housedress."
The point of the show was to identify the woman with the worst story. This was measured by audience clapping the loudest on the applause-o-meter. The woman who won, would usually weep and blubber as various prizes were revealed from behind closed curtains. As I recall, they won new refrigerators, or washing machines, vacuum cleaners or floor polishers. Maybe they won a trip somewhere, I'm not too sure. I always felt so happy for the winner, but wondered how the others, whose stories struck me as equally terrible, managed to go back to their terrible lives. I think I really would have liked to see my mom on the show, but I knew she couldn't possibly match stories with these women.
All of this came back to me yesterday when I went to Langdon Place to visit my mom. Beside her chair was a headband-like item covered in silver, and with a cardboard crownlike part with silver sparkling tinsel fringing the words "Happy New Year." I picked it up and asked mom if she had gone to the New Year's celebration. She said no, but took the headband from me and said "I like this," and put it on sort of like an Indian headband. I put it up on the top of her head and then offered the mirror so she could see herself.
"Oh," she said, "I like this. I want to wear it."
"Okay," I said, smiling at her enthusiasm. I got her into her wheelchair and we went down the hallway, with everyone we met smiling at my mom and wishing her a Happy New Year. Within minutes she had forgotten that she had the headband on, and would reach up to see what unfamiliar thing was on her head. Each time she would exclaim over it and put it back on. She was in her element.
Down in the special family dining room, we came upon coffee hour, and the women assembled all complimented my mom on her crown. She loved the attention, and wasn't the least bit self-conscious about wearing her new accessory. When we left, one of the women said "Good-bye to the Queen." Mom just giggled and smiled and waved to everyone as we left the room.
She wore the crown all the time we played cards and all the way back up to the 3rd floor. I felt in a small way, she had had her moment as Queen for a Day. As she progressively loses her ability to remember, to converse, to do much of anything for herself, I see her as very like her great grandaughter, 14 month old Ella. And as I ponder this, I think that perhaps Ella gets her cheery, sweet, charming nature from her great grandmother, who always has a smile and a giggle for all who cross her path.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Good Will
I guess it's time for me to get political again. My activist self has been quiet for a long time, but there are so many issues of concern to me that I'm not going to stay silent any longer. Time to blast off.
Yesterday afternoon, I saw a first (for me, anyway) in the relatively wealthy Seacoast. At the intersection of Rte. 108 and Back River Rd. in Dover, a man stood in the median holding a sign which said: "Will work. Family needs help." There may have been more, but when the light turned green, I drove through the intersection fast enough that I couldn't make out the rest of the sign in the waning daylight.
I immediately began to think. Did I have work I could hire this man to do? Rake leaves? Scrub the mold off the outside of my house? Then. . . What must it be like to be reduced to standing outside holding that sign? How many family members did he have? Then. . . . could this be a scam? How many people are out there feeling that desperate or more desperate, while I have a 3 bedroom house, food, heat, new car and closets full of clothes. In short, I felt terrible.
Today the Senate voted against extending jobless benefits to those who have been unemployed for 99 weeks. 99 weeks. Just think about that. More than two years. These are the people who most need unemployment benefits. By now they would have sold everything they could have sold, used whatever savings they had, and would be on the brink of homelessness, I imagine. Are there people in the Senate who believe that these people are not trying to find work because they are so comfortable receiving their approximately $300.00 a week? How many of us can live on $300.00 per week? That amount would pay my mortgage. End of story.
And still the Republicans don't want to vote through benefits extension unless we can pay for them, at the same time that they don't want to allow taxes to rise on the wealthiest 400 Americans, who make more money than God, and who pay less than 16 per cent of their income in taxes - less, for example, than most of us pay. This is death-defying logic.
After visiting my mom, I headed to a yoga class, and on my way home, stopped at Good Will to shop for a warm coat for my mom since she has outgrown the one I bought her last year. As I browsed the racks, I felt completely guilty. The store was more crowded than I've ever seen it, and I was certain that everyone could tell that I didn't really NEED to shop at Good Will.
I wanted to announce that I was there on behalf of my mother who is now dependent on the very social programs that may well be cut in the rush to reduce the deficit. She has only $56.00 she is allowed to keep and spend out of her meager Social Security and retirement pension each month. Medicare and Medicaid pay for everything beyond what she pays to Langdon Place each month. I kept my mouth shut, found a coat I hope will zip around her ever-expanding belly, and beat feet out to the car.
I drove home so as to avoid the intersection of 108 and Back River Rd., but I hope that we will each feel inclined to listen carefully to the rhetoric coming out of Washington about deficit reduction, and contact our so-called legislators to encourage them to take steps to pass laws that will benefit the people who need the most help: the unemployed, the working poor, the elderly and those who are unable to take care of themselves. "Will Work. My family needs help."
Good Will to all.
Yesterday afternoon, I saw a first (for me, anyway) in the relatively wealthy Seacoast. At the intersection of Rte. 108 and Back River Rd. in Dover, a man stood in the median holding a sign which said: "Will work. Family needs help." There may have been more, but when the light turned green, I drove through the intersection fast enough that I couldn't make out the rest of the sign in the waning daylight.
I immediately began to think. Did I have work I could hire this man to do? Rake leaves? Scrub the mold off the outside of my house? Then. . . What must it be like to be reduced to standing outside holding that sign? How many family members did he have? Then. . . . could this be a scam? How many people are out there feeling that desperate or more desperate, while I have a 3 bedroom house, food, heat, new car and closets full of clothes. In short, I felt terrible.
Today the Senate voted against extending jobless benefits to those who have been unemployed for 99 weeks. 99 weeks. Just think about that. More than two years. These are the people who most need unemployment benefits. By now they would have sold everything they could have sold, used whatever savings they had, and would be on the brink of homelessness, I imagine. Are there people in the Senate who believe that these people are not trying to find work because they are so comfortable receiving their approximately $300.00 a week? How many of us can live on $300.00 per week? That amount would pay my mortgage. End of story.
And still the Republicans don't want to vote through benefits extension unless we can pay for them, at the same time that they don't want to allow taxes to rise on the wealthiest 400 Americans, who make more money than God, and who pay less than 16 per cent of their income in taxes - less, for example, than most of us pay. This is death-defying logic.
After visiting my mom, I headed to a yoga class, and on my way home, stopped at Good Will to shop for a warm coat for my mom since she has outgrown the one I bought her last year. As I browsed the racks, I felt completely guilty. The store was more crowded than I've ever seen it, and I was certain that everyone could tell that I didn't really NEED to shop at Good Will.
I wanted to announce that I was there on behalf of my mother who is now dependent on the very social programs that may well be cut in the rush to reduce the deficit. She has only $56.00 she is allowed to keep and spend out of her meager Social Security and retirement pension each month. Medicare and Medicaid pay for everything beyond what she pays to Langdon Place each month. I kept my mouth shut, found a coat I hope will zip around her ever-expanding belly, and beat feet out to the car.
I drove home so as to avoid the intersection of 108 and Back River Rd., but I hope that we will each feel inclined to listen carefully to the rhetoric coming out of Washington about deficit reduction, and contact our so-called legislators to encourage them to take steps to pass laws that will benefit the people who need the most help: the unemployed, the working poor, the elderly and those who are unable to take care of themselves. "Will Work. My family needs help."
Good Will to all.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The check engine light of life
When the check engine light came on last March, I should have paid more attention. But my mechanic said they would try to turn it off, and if it didn't stay off, I would have to have some part of the emissions system replaced before my October inspection date. It seemed like a long time until October, so, when the light didn't turn off, I didn't worry about it (too much).
A little later, I noticed that there was a mysterious spot of something on the driveway underneath the car. I duly noted its location and reported it to my mechanic. I was afraid my radiator was leaking and that one day, I would be stranded with no water/coolant/whatever in my car (which had happened in my old car). Nope, he said, you're leaking power steering fluid, and you don't need to worry too much about that. The level is fine and the worst that will happen is you'll notice that it may get harder to steer. OK, I was fine with that. The car wasn't any harder to steer, and eventually, I didn't even notice any new spots on the driveway.
Just after that, I noticed that my front tires were pretty badly worn, so on my next oil change, I asked them to put the back tires on the front. They agreed that I would need 4 new tires before inspection in October. OK, I said. Plenty of time to take care of that.
From that moment, though, I noticed that the car drove funny. It felt the way I remember feeling when driving a car in the North Country on a 40 degree below zero morning when the tires are slightly flat where they've been resting on the cold ground. Only it wasn't 40 below. The faster I drove, the smoother the ride. It's just the car getting used to the different tires on the front, I thought. And kept driving.
When August rolled around, I was in for my oil change and asked my mechanic to also change the air filter. When the oil was changed, he came out and asked me if I were planning to get a new car any time soon. I was shocked. No, I said, but I did think I should start taking care of the various issues which had cropped up. Why?
He mentioned all the things I've mentioned above, and said, "It's going to cost you $2500.00 to get these things fixed." Little did he know. Little did I know. In the course of this conversation, it turned out that he thought I should take it to the Subaru dealer to get the Check Engine light turned off. So I did. And for $300.00 or so, they replaced the rear oxygen sensors. That was the good news. The bad news was that they told me what the mechanic had said was leaky steering fluid was actually a leaking head gasket. And the bad tires? That was actually separating rear trailing arms. Head gasket I knew, and my heart sank. Trailing arms? Really? Never heard of them.
Well, to make a long story shorter, it was going to take almost $3000.00 to put my car back into driveable, inspectable condition. NO, NO, NO!!! It wasn't time for me to have to buy a car. Yet what was the point of pouring money into a car that had 115,000 miles on it??? Thus began a nearly month-long internal debate about what to do (and for those of you who have had to listen, an external debate).
I think I despise nothing more than I despise car shopping. But last week, after driving down to Needham and feeling certain that my rear axle was going to fly apart with every pothole I hit on 128 around Boston, I knew that the time had come. My check engine light was off, but all that meant was that I had about $2800 to go before I would be safe again.
I learned some hard lessons about car maintenance on this go round. And I've learned that car salesmen are some of the sleazier people out there - or maybe they're not sleazy, but the car industry will screw you six ways to Sunday in order to maximize their profits; despite this, I am driving an ultra-safe, new-to-me, 2009 white Subaru Forester, and up to my neck in debt. While the car shopping was proceeding, I've needed electrical work done at the house; plumbing work in the kitchen and a new roof across the front of the house. Earlier this summer the kitchen ceiling had to be replaced as a consequence of a leak in the upstairs hot water pipe.
The moral to this story? When the check engine light turns on: pay attention - it's not just about your car!
A little later, I noticed that there was a mysterious spot of something on the driveway underneath the car. I duly noted its location and reported it to my mechanic. I was afraid my radiator was leaking and that one day, I would be stranded with no water/coolant/whatever in my car (which had happened in my old car). Nope, he said, you're leaking power steering fluid, and you don't need to worry too much about that. The level is fine and the worst that will happen is you'll notice that it may get harder to steer. OK, I was fine with that. The car wasn't any harder to steer, and eventually, I didn't even notice any new spots on the driveway.
Just after that, I noticed that my front tires were pretty badly worn, so on my next oil change, I asked them to put the back tires on the front. They agreed that I would need 4 new tires before inspection in October. OK, I said. Plenty of time to take care of that.
From that moment, though, I noticed that the car drove funny. It felt the way I remember feeling when driving a car in the North Country on a 40 degree below zero morning when the tires are slightly flat where they've been resting on the cold ground. Only it wasn't 40 below. The faster I drove, the smoother the ride. It's just the car getting used to the different tires on the front, I thought. And kept driving.
When August rolled around, I was in for my oil change and asked my mechanic to also change the air filter. When the oil was changed, he came out and asked me if I were planning to get a new car any time soon. I was shocked. No, I said, but I did think I should start taking care of the various issues which had cropped up. Why?
He mentioned all the things I've mentioned above, and said, "It's going to cost you $2500.00 to get these things fixed." Little did he know. Little did I know. In the course of this conversation, it turned out that he thought I should take it to the Subaru dealer to get the Check Engine light turned off. So I did. And for $300.00 or so, they replaced the rear oxygen sensors. That was the good news. The bad news was that they told me what the mechanic had said was leaky steering fluid was actually a leaking head gasket. And the bad tires? That was actually separating rear trailing arms. Head gasket I knew, and my heart sank. Trailing arms? Really? Never heard of them.
Well, to make a long story shorter, it was going to take almost $3000.00 to put my car back into driveable, inspectable condition. NO, NO, NO!!! It wasn't time for me to have to buy a car. Yet what was the point of pouring money into a car that had 115,000 miles on it??? Thus began a nearly month-long internal debate about what to do (and for those of you who have had to listen, an external debate).
I think I despise nothing more than I despise car shopping. But last week, after driving down to Needham and feeling certain that my rear axle was going to fly apart with every pothole I hit on 128 around Boston, I knew that the time had come. My check engine light was off, but all that meant was that I had about $2800 to go before I would be safe again.
I learned some hard lessons about car maintenance on this go round. And I've learned that car salesmen are some of the sleazier people out there - or maybe they're not sleazy, but the car industry will screw you six ways to Sunday in order to maximize their profits; despite this, I am driving an ultra-safe, new-to-me, 2009 white Subaru Forester, and up to my neck in debt. While the car shopping was proceeding, I've needed electrical work done at the house; plumbing work in the kitchen and a new roof across the front of the house. Earlier this summer the kitchen ceiling had to be replaced as a consequence of a leak in the upstairs hot water pipe.
The moral to this story? When the check engine light turns on: pay attention - it's not just about your car!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)