Elimination of Unwanted Daughters.....say what?

Once again I find myself taking issue with Jeff Jacoby, my least favorite columnist in the shrinking stable of Boston Globe op ed writers. On Sunday, 4/6, Jacoby writes about a recent study which reveals that Asian-Americans, and Indian-Americans having multiple births, show a marked bias towards boys in second and third births where the first, or first and second births have been girls. The study concludes that in these populations, sex selection is occurring in greater numbers of pregnancies.

Jacoby uses this study to launch a rant against abortion and the “theology of ‘choice’ which elevates the right to abortion above all other considerations.” Jacoby seems to accept (reluctantly) that these practices go on in developing nations, where having boys is obviously a “rational” preference as a consequence of cultural traditions. It’s all right as long as the practice stays where it belongs, in far away China or India. It is not all right in the U.S. of A., where we should know better.

I would like to inform Mr. Jacoby, that the idea of sex selection in this country is not exactly a new one. Old wives tales abound about how one can conceive a boy instead of a girl or vice versa. Thermometers and daily temperature charts used to be the available technology, combined with the timing of intercourse. Did it work? Maybe sometimes. Now, there are ever more accurate and earlier means for determining the gender of the fetus, and hence, earlier opportunities to abort and try again.

As one who subscribes to the idea of a woman’s choice as a guiding principle in the decision to abort, I can’t say that I think aborting a female fetus because you want to have a male child is what I personally would choose. I can, however, see how someone from a culture which has valued boys above girls might want to make that choice. She (and her partner) will have to live with whatever guilt that decision may provoke. Mr. Jacoby thinks there should be a law against such abortions. He is of the ilk who would ban all abortions, and this is yet another way that the pro-life movement can erode the current law of the land, which gives the pregnant mother the right to choose an abortion.

If abortion for sex selection became illegal, then every decision to abort would have to go through the scrutiny of the law to make sure sex selection was not the reason. Currently, women do not have to give a reason as to why they want to abort. And that is because it is no one’s business but theirs.

I think Mr. Jacoby misses the point of what the real issue is, in his effort to use this study to buttress arguments against abortion. The real point is two-fold. First, we have in this instance yet another example of our technology outstripping our ethical understanding and second, we have the dominant culture in this country casting stones at the sub-dominant cultures whose traditions we dislike.

Potential solutions to the use of genetic testing, ultrasound and blood-testing to determine the sex of a fetus, might be to place a moratorium on those tests while ethicists and ordinary people discuss what is morally right and what is morally wrong. Consider also, a discussion with persons of other cultural backgrounds as to why they feel the need or the desire to perpetuate a particular cultural tradition, and just what the tradition means to them. A question which could be taken up in conversations around the country might be “Why are male children more valued than female children?” It is not unusual to hear of families “trying one more time to have a child of the opposite gender, even in our alleged superior, first world culture.

Jacoby ends his column by saying “You don’t have to be a feminist to know that being a girl is not a birth defect, or to be horrified by a practice that lethally reinforces the most benighted forms of sexual discrimination. For what kind of feminist would it be who could contemplate the use of abortion to eliminate ever-greater numbers of girls, and not cry out in horror?” At that conclusion, I want to laugh to hear him on his high horse as if he really supported feminism. In fact, being a girl IS still a birth defect in this culture if you examine women’s wages, the number of women in positions of power, the number of women killed by violent men, etc. And perhaps Mr. Jacoby hasn’t noticed any of the not-so-subtle sexism in the media that Hillary Clinton is trying to overcome in order to become the Presidential nominee of her party.

All I can say is that abortion for sex selection isn’t my cup of tea, but I think it’s way better than the infanticide of girl babies and children previously practiced (and still practiced) in some cultures. Or, say, selling your girl child into slavery or prostitution. So Jeff, I’m not yet prepared to “cry out in horror” at this new phenomenon in our country.

William Saleton wrote in Slate.com, a much more cogent opinion, I thought. To wit:

“Technology can facilitate regression as easily as it facilitates progress. But if you think of yourself as a pro-life conservative, the data should humble you, too. In the populations in which it has increased, sex selection isn't a newfangled perversion. It's a custom, and a patriarchal one at that. If the sex-selection story teaches us all to be a bit more skeptical of both tradition and technology, that'll be real progress.”

Intersecting circles of life and death

Today was a day that had a roundness to it that I appreciate. I spent the morning cutting pieces for the Home of the Brave quilt I have taken responsibility for making to give to a local family whose son was killed in Iraq in January. As I cut, of course I thought about this family, the grief they must be experiencing, and I thought about the war which has now brought grief to thousands of families in this country and in Iraq. A week ago last night I stood in a vigil to draw attention to the 5th year of the war. Last night and this morning, I heard with a sick feeling about the upsurge in violence in Sadr City and in Basra. Another NH soldier was killed 2 days ago, making 41 casualties in our small state.

This afternoon, I took the quilt pieces to the high school, where seven others joined me in sewing blocks. Together, we made ten blocks in an hour and a half. I was glad to see my former colleagues, and I SO appreciated their willingness to help on this project. Some of us had taught the young man who died, or one of his older brothers. All of us knew the family, and some of us had been on the faculty and two had been students when the oldest son died of brain cancer during his senior year. Every year, the mom makes a beautiful quilt and raffles it off to raise money for the memorial scholarship which they established after the death of their oldest son. It seems more than fitting for those of us who have been part of the extended Oyster River family to be making a quilt to express our desire to comfort them at the time of their second horrific loss.

I was most touched by the presence today of one of my close friends from the English Dept. whose brother happens to be currently stationed in Bagdad. She is not a seamstress and had not even the least idea of how to pin fabric together, but she became our seam presser, and made an important contribution to the ease with which we were able to complete so many blocks. When I thanked her for coming, she said "I have a ton of work to do, but I just thought.....if something happens to my brother, I hope someone will make a quilt for my mom." I was struck by how differently she was perceiving this afternoon's activity from all the rest of us, and just how much fear and anxiety she holds in her heart every day for her brother who is directly in death's path with every day that he remains in Bagdad.

On my way out of the building, a former student, now a sophomore was standing in the entry area, and greeted me warmly. "Hi Ms. Morgan," she said. "Hi," I said, "How are you?" "I'm doing great," she said. "I was just talking about you to one of the interns today," she said. "Oh?" I said. "Yeah," she said. "I was telling her that you were someone who knew how to tame a ninth grade class." "Well, I tried," I said, turning and smiling at her as I walked out into the parking lot. I wish I had said, "Yes, but I hope 'tamed' was not synonymous with 'squashed."" Her name was Gabby, and she was. Gabby, that is. Fortunately, she was also very smart, and had always done her reading and preparation for class. I appreciated her, at the same time that I had to constantly sit on her. So to speak.

Arriving back at home, I spent a few minutes re-planting my "Support the Troops, End the war in Iraq" sign in the stump in front of the house. All the wind and weather this winter had partially uprooted it. I will be very happy when I no longer need to have this sign out front, when the Home of the Brave quilt project can come to an end, and when we have a leader in the White House who will not risk the lives of our young people so needlessly.

On television tonight, I flipped channels and saw a rebroadcast of an interview project we carried out in American Studies called the Power of One. My dear friend Emma was the teacher/environmentalist being interviewed by two of the smartest and nicest students I have ever worked with. I had never seen their entire tape, and it was a joy to watch and to think back on the whole project which was designed to encourage kids to realize the difference that one person can make through the way he or she lives his or her life. It's a lesson for me to remember as well, when I become discouraged about the large events in the world over which I have no control.

Today, I felt the threads of my life weave together in an interesting way, through my life as a teacher, a friend, a quilter, an organizer, a political activist . . . . . a tamer of ninth graders.

Back on the Couch.....Potato

What can I say.....the new Dancing With the Stars season has started, and I'm right here, watching with just as much enjoyment as I have watched the previous 2 seasons. Some people, I'm sure, will be surprised to know that I'm a devotee of "Dancing." Others, who know that I harbored hidden desires to be a Solid Gold dancer back in the early 80s know that behind my staid, English teacher demeanor is someone who LOVES to dance, and would have loved even more, to be a dancer on ice!! Along with those two passions (hidden and unrealized) I would have loved to swim on a synchronized swim team.

So....there you have it. I'm trying hard to accept the fact that sychronized swimming, professional dancing and figure skating, along with roller derby, are probably not in the cards for me (at least in this lifetime.) Of course....I could, perhaps, start a "bucket list" and take some steps toward at least TRYING some of these hidden desires.......

Lest anyone think that I have lived an unfulfilled life because of what I've written above, that is not the case. I will let my earlier blog entries, as well as those to come reveal the generally interesting, and sometimes even exciting life I lead!! Why, just a week ago today, I was at the Boston Flower Show with three of my best friends, and that was even better than watching Dancing With the Stars!!

Three Cups of Tea

If you only read one book in 2008, make it Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. It is the true story of his attempt to climb K2, only to fail, but find his calling as a builder of schools in remote Northern Pakistan. Not only is this a riveting story, it throws into sharp relief the failures of our "War on Terror." Mortenson understood very early on that education was the key to peace in the region. Even more, he understood that educating girls held the key to social change.

I had the privilege of hearing him speak a couple of weeks ago, before I had read the book, and he quoted a proverb to the effect that "If you educate a boy, you educate an individual; if you educate a girl, you educate a village." Needless to say, educating girls in some of the more extreme Muslim communities was not always a popular idea. Mortenson has had two fatwahs issued against him, he was kidnapped and caught in a firefight in Afghanistan, where he has continued his school-building in recent years.

I am in awe of the work that he has done almost single-handedly. One of the most impressive parts of what he has done is that he not only builds the schools, he buys supplies and pays or makes sure that teachers are paid. He has more than 60 schools that he keeps up and running - through earthquakes, bombings, landslides and human failures.

Mortenson himself is a self-effacing, shy person. He comes across as an ordinary person who has been able to make a difference. In reality, he is an absolutely extraordinary person, who could be a role model for all of us. Hearing him speak, I felt that he educated the audience to the truths of the history and politics of the Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan region in a way that was both powerful and believable. If only he could have educated the Bush regime before they started bombing the region into oblivion.

The Peace Abbey awarded Greg the Courage of Conscience Award, and indeed, he lives the courage of his convictions every single day. He has joined Atticus Finch in my pantheon of heros. They are two men, one real, one fictional, who live their lives according to the highest principles of compassion and justice. I would like to see every school in our country adopt his book as required reading for students before they graduate.

A rose by any other name...

Once an English teacher, always an English teacher. Sad, maybe, but true. I've always loved words, and I think in some ways it was impossible to grow up in my family without loving words. It's an inherited trait. The Twomblys (should the plural be Twomblies?) talked, the Redingtons did crossword puzzles and made puns. Over the years, I began to realize the power of words, and woe to the student who used the word "mankind" in my presence, and then professed not to understand what could be wrong with it.....I'll save the full-blown lecture for later.

I would have supposed that most writers would care passionately about words and their correct usage. It is that supposition that caused me to be shocked when I read novelist Elinor Lipman's column in Monday's Globe (2/11), entitled "Chelsea and the kid gloves." In her column, she claimed that it wasn't any big deal that pundit Bill Shuster asked the question "Doesn't it seem like Chelsea is being pimped out in some weird sort of way?" Lipman wonders why the Clintons should have taken umbrage at that. She thinks they overreacted. Wouldn't anyone take umbrage if their daughter was described as "being pimped out?" Should the listener not have assumed any sexual-trafficking connotation as Ms. Lipman claims? In what other context does one use the word "pimp?"

She continues her column to similarly brush aside Don Imus's famous description of the Rutgers' girls bastketball team, saying "Did anyone in his or her right mind need to be disabused of Imus's characterization?" We may well have understood that the young women on the team were not "hos," but that doesn't mean it was o.k. for him to call them that, along with the adjectives he used to precede the word. I am aghast that Ms. Lipman is willing to see language used so imprecisely and scurrilously. If she thinks it's o.k., then I think the degradation of our culture has gone further than I had imagined.

Words both reflect the culture and have the power to shape it. I hope I understand as well as the next person the way language changes, and particularly that the vernacular may expand to include words that previous generations would have had their mouths washed out with soap for using. Acceptance of these kinds of insults as normative, however, I think goes past a boundary that I would rather not see crossed. And here's why, since you asked:

We are living in an age of the manipulation of language much like what George Orwell imagined in 1984. If we grow sloppy in our usage, we accept the deaths of "troops," because that word is more dehumanized than deaths of "soldiers," which is more dehumanized that saying deaths of "men" and "women." It allows us to have a President who will talk about "shock and awe" when our military is dropping bombs on Baghdad. It brought us "Operation Enduring Freedom" and "Desert Storm." In munitions, it brings us "smart bombs" and Focused Lethality Munitions (see previous blog). We can objectify and rename anything until it is unrecognizeable for what it is. I take issue not only with Ms. Lipman, but also with Shakespeare himself, who said "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." A "ho" is not synonymous with "basketball player" and "pimped out" is not synonymous with "speaking on the campaign trail on behalf of your mother." Ms. Lipman should have known better.

Smart, smarter, smartest small bombs

I found the final story on ABC news last night particularly objectionable. Obscene, even. I've spent quite a bit of time wondering just why it bothered me so much. The story was the report on the development of the new, small, smart bomb. The whole point of the bomb is to reduce collateral damage. Now that would be a good thing, and I should have been excited to hear that anyone in the military cares about that. It certainly represents a change from the good old days of carpet bombing in Viet Nam, or say, Dresden, for example.

Jeffrey Kofman reported the story and sounded somewhat like a kid in a candy store, and I think that was what first set me off. Instead of a straight forward story on what it costs to produce this new bomb and how many lives it might actually save (though let us not forget that it is intended to take lives, just more accurately), we have a first-hand opportunity to ride along in the plane with Mr. Kofman while the bomb is tested. He is clearly in awe of the opportunity. I am clearly disgusted by the thrill he is experiencing.

I couldn't help wishing for Peter Jennings "gravitas," much as I have come to feel that is a pompous word as it is bandied about today. Where was Mr. Kofman's understanding of what real bombs to do real people? Where was the analysis of what might be done with the money expended on these ever newer weapons? Where was the discussion of how, as we make "smarter and smarter" bombs, we seem to be producing greater and greater morons who hold the reins of the power to create situations in which to use these lovely weapons. And does anyone think about how much easier it is to launch these weapons from 15,000 feet away from the target with the push of a button? Do the droppers of the bombs see the destruction they cause? Do they care? Why was this considered a news story? What corporations sponsor ABC news and what might their interest be in bomb-making?

For those who may have missed the story last night, I repeat, below, an excerpt from the abcnews.com web site:

"As the Air Force now sees it, in today's warfare smaller is better. With these new Small Diameter Bombs, it hopes to accomplish three things at once: get more weapons on each aircraft; fire those weapons from much further away than JDAMs allow; and, critically, with much less explosive inside, aim to strike with surgical precision."

When the story ended, I must say, I thought that we should all rush off to our nearest FAO Schwartz to pick up the newest edition of our own, small, smart bomb. But wait, don't purchase yours too soon, because:

". . . the next generation of Small Diameter Bomb is already in early development. The FLM, or Focused Lethality Munition, will take surgical precision to a new level. It will be made of hardened plastics that disintegrate on explosion, eliminating the deadly metal fragments, or shrapnel, that causes so much unintended damage and destruction. Clearly, the Air Force is determined to refine what it believes will be the surgical strike weapon of choice for 21st century warfare." Hold the phone, Mr. Kofman may get another chance to ride along when they test the FLM.....who thinks up these names? Focused Lethality Munition???? Good God! Someone should quickly notify the 'collateral damage" that help is on the way!

The Iraq War and More

I have been opposed to the Iraq War since long before it started. I have marched in protests and stood in vigils. I have supported candidates who opposed the war. I have given money. I have organized three peace conferences. The loss of a former student last weekend has saddened me and made me think all over again about just how wrong the whole war is and has been; how many people have been lost in this needless war, both soldiers and civilians, American and Iraqi. Groups are gearing up to commemorate the 5th anniversary of the invasion. I've been called upon to participate.

I don't want to commemorate it, I want to rage against it. I want to look into the eyes of my two Repbulican Senators and ask "How can you continue to support this?" I want to shake them until their eyes spin around in their heads and they admit they have been wrong. I want to know why the people in this country haven't risen up and said "Stop!" I want to know why Bush and Cheney haven't been impeached for the high crimes they have perpetrated in the past seven years. We have a dictatorship in Washington of the most insidious sort. Through signing statements, vetoes, recess appointments, rendition, wire-tapping, torture, detainment without chargeor access to attorneys, and profligate spending, the President has held the country in an iron grip. We apparently lack the courage or the creativity to figure out how to break that grip.

I saw in today's paper, a column which only added to my feeling of rage. And I realize that my rage is not just at the elected officials in Washington, it is against the American people, and that means some level of anger at myself. The column featured a story about an Iraqi translator who helped our soldiers for 3 years, and when a translator friend of his was murdered, he knew he needed to get out of Iraq. After a year of bureaucratic red tape, he went to Jordan for an interview. He was told he could leave immediately. That was fine, except his wife and 2 small children were in Iraq. His wife said to go and be safe. He arrived in Boston last Sept. He needs $7000.00 to bring his family here to safety. He's working as a carpet salesman; he lives in one of the most expensive cities in the world. By himself, it will take him years to raise the money.

There are hundreds of people in this country who could write a check for the whole amount and never think twice about it. Hillary Clinton's campaign raised 4 million dollars in the last 24 hours. The Liberty Hotel (you gotta love the name) gave a $5500.00 suite to Paris Hilton and her entourage while she was in town to receive the Harvard Lampoon Woman of the Year award. I doubt she is even smart enough to realize that she was being made fun of. Heiress to the Hilton fortune, she hardly needed the free hotel room. Mitt Romney just tried to buy the Presidency with $42 million dollars of his own money.

So......where does that leave me? I'm going to email Kevin Cullen, columnist at the Globe, to see if I can donate some money to help the translator. Maybe I can make a small difference in this sea of indifference.